Being in(or out of) Love............

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” ---- Neil Gaiman

Have you felt the same, guys?? I mean "I hate love" thing. Do you think on the same lines??. Because i dont. Yeah, i agree that you think exactly like this in two conditions:
1. You love someone, but either cant tell her as you are afraid of losing a real good friend or you told her but she doesnt feel the same way about you.
2. You had been in a great relationship, but(aaaah, i hate this but) because of some factors, it didnt work out somehow and now you are left only with the greatest memories of your life. You feel like, you woudnt have been having this pain, had you not fallen in love. You begin to hate love.

But guys, guys, guys........ think again. It was that love which gave you those wonderful days which you would cherish forever. What if you had never fallen in love??? What did you have to compare this time with??? You should feel lucky to have had such a great time. At least you know how does it feel to be in love. Look around you and see how many guys you know who even had this chance. They don't even know what it is like to be "the one" for someone, and that someone is "the one" for you. (Sorry, if you are getting irritated by this "the one" thing, but being extremely influenced by "The Matrix Trilogy", i cant help it).

If you think life was much better when you had not fallen in love, you are wrong. Think about those golden days, you didnt want to ask for anything else, everything was perfect, wasnt it?Being in love is magic. You simply can't hate it, rgt? See, its all depends on you how you perceive it, either you become a Dev-D or believe in "everything happens for a reason, a good reason". Remember, it was some other "you" before you fell in love. Try to rediscover yourself.

Why dont you enjoy those changes she has brought in your life. Not talking about the change which would affect your life in a very significant way, lets take a very small example.One day she gifted you a coffee mug. Now thats just a mug and you would get it anywhere. But this mug is very important for you. You cant share it with anyone at any cost. Whenever a new guy comes in the room, the first thing you tell him is that "hey buddy, that mug belongs to me, dont touch that". And the most surprising thing is that everyone understands this:). Friends usually do exactly what you ask them not to do, because its fun. But in this case, they understand somehow the gravity of situation and they would never do that because they know it might hurt you and they dont want it. So did you see the change ??? How small things can become so important for you. You had never done it before, but doing all these crazy things make you feel different. I hope you are getting me....

So the conclusion,

For Single guys: People say, too know the road ahead, ask those coming back. This does'nt hold true in case of love. Never ask anyone whether you should love or not. No one can tell you. Everyone has their own experiences, every girl is different, circumstances are different and more importantly you are different than the person this question has been asked to. You cannot learn from their experiences. But the thing is, don't try to fall in love, when it has to happen, it will. You will never get to know when you are falling in love, the only time when you begin to feel something different is when you have already fallen.

For guys in love: Here, you need to make very balanced decisions. One wrong move could mess things up. Most of the times, (if it was mutual love), its not the fault of either party. But circumstances and situations play their role and everything screws up. And after some time,
every step that you take is another mistake to her, and every second she waste, is more you could take. And thats exactly where the problem arises. For guys falling in this category, there is only one thing i can think of:
You should definitely make her the best part of her life, and keep making her realize the same, but don't make her your life. I ain't saying she is gonna break your heart, but other factors can, and then my dear friend, your life would be (......i dont have to tell you. You guys are smart enought to get it, rgt?.)

For Guys who just broke up: Stop blaming her of making mistakes which you coud'nt take, and which, according to you, was the root cause of the failure of this relationship. You dont know what she might have been going through. You too might have done some horrible mistakes which you dont even realize but are obvious to her. If she too loved you, it is gonna be as difficult for her as it is for you. No one can figure out what went wrong. But there is something, which is definitely a mistake, you keep asking questions. You know what, i don't know whether you will ever get the answers or not, but one thing is sure that it diminishes the possibility of friendship also.
Dont ask questions. You will not/cannot get the answers to those question. Why did it happen? why did it happen with you?? why did it have to be this way?? Some questions are better unanswered my dear friend. So stop looking for the answers.

Try to be at least a good friend to her, not because you are hoping for a second chance, but for all the great times you had together. I am very sure she will be a very good friend, as she knows you inside out.
"Jis afsane ko anjaam tak pahunchana na ho mumkin, Use ek khoobsoorat mod dekar chood dena accha"

Imagine the day when you two meet after sometime, you will laugh at all those misunderstandings, fights over little things, not talking to each other for ego reasons though you were dying to talk etc, and you will feel like....."haah, those good old days, we two were so good together", and you will feel good. No matter what lies ahead in life, but even as we move on in life, we still remember all the great times we had together.

*Same theory applies to gals also :)
**These are my personal views. Your views might differ. But having a positive attitude towards life always helps.